I guess you want to know about me. The clue was in how you clicked "about." So obviously, the first thing to know is how perceptive I am...
I've added a few more pertinent things because the people who support and encourage my narcissism told me I should. Also, the blog host provides an "about" and I figured I might as well humour them. Which brings me to my first point...
1. This is a humour blog. You can laugh with me, at me - or just because you just saw something funny on TV, but just don't think it's a foodie blog. There won't be a recipe for chicken enchiladas, which is kind of too bad because actually I do make pretty good chicken enchiladas.
I sometimes try to tell stories which I'm hoping you can relate to and sometimes it all ends up being kind of funny. Just regular haha funny, not "stand-up comedian" type of funny. Which works for me, I much prefer to sit.
2. I'm a writer (whew). If I was an Accountant or a Pizza Delivery person, then I think you would enjoy my blog a lot less. Well, maybe not if I was the Pizza Delivery guy. I'd probably have a few good stories. I could easily talk at length about pizza. I could debate thin crust vs. normal, delicious, if-it's-not-broke-don't-fix-it crust. (how can something be good if it has the word "thin" in it?) I could also talk about the correct cheese to use (hint: not Feta, not goat) I could talk about toppings? Toppings...(sigh) I love toppings. My favourites include bacon, pepperoni...
3. Also...I ramble. Not sure if people enjoy reading other people's ramblings but Dan Brown has sold a lot of books, I'm thinking yes. Anyway, people seem to enjoy watching other people fall down and make mistakes, maybe because they can relate - maybe because it makes them feel better about themselves. Either way, there will be plenty of mistakes in my ramblings. They might be literal mistakes (I have editing issues), or blogs about my mistakes in judgement. Both can be horrifying at the time, and then kind of funny in retrospect. Which is basically how my life has gone so far.
4. I add cartoons, illustrations and memes. Some are my own creation. As for the rest, my lawyer is looking into the legalities of using them. My lawyer looks exactly like Jack McCoy (the real McCoy - original "Law and Order" before the "special victims unit" came in and things got all weird.) He is a lot like him, my lawyer. Especially in the sense that he is a made-up character. He has given me the thumbs up, but being that he is not real, if I start writing the blog from prison, y'all will know why.
5. I'm from Canada, so we don't say y'all. We are often quite chilly and warm up with a Tim Horton's coffee. Sometimes referred to as Timmys. It's a staple at hockey games. There are a lot of those here too. Speaking of Canadians, we speak Canadian, so we add "u" into lots of things (colour, favourite, humour) because we really like "u". We are a friendly bunch (I've heard). Not all of us. Not the guy who stole my parking spot the other day. But it was Walmart...and Saturday...u get me.
6. I don't write that much specifically about my family because they would much rather I write about almost anything else. This is also not a "mommy-blog", even though I am a mom to 2 girls (twins. 15yo and 15yo, which is how it works with twins) and the "mom" of a dog with 2 personalities - regular and Bride of Satan. She has an aggressive side. To put it mildly. Picture what you think about dogs. Now picture the opposite. See that blackish grey spot? Zoom in a little? Yes, that's my dog. She may come up in the odd blog. As long as it's odd enough.
I will try to never again refer to myself as the "mom" of my dog as that is unforgivably cringey. (I hope you'll forgive me)
7. I want to make you laugh, so I try really hard to be like all my funny heroes. I was going to list them, but the list is too long. Mostly, the funniest people I know are my family. You can count yourself lucky if you have a few family members who can inspire a belly laugh every single day and I do. In my effort to be even half as funny or interesting as these people, I may fall short. It's quite possible you might not relate or even laugh, but just smile a little. Possibly only just a tiny corner of your mouth goes up. I will call that a raging success...and thank you for your time. I mean it. There's a Tim Horton's gift card in it for you. Somewhere. I'll get back to you.
Now go ahead read some of my blog posts. Click at the bottom right of the little cartoon where it says "read more" (people have said that the "read more" is so subtle that they actually didn't notice it, so I gave you a gigantic version here as a visual aid.
Apparently, I'm not allowed to write "CLICK HERE TO READ THE ACTUAL BLOG AND NOT JUST LOOK AT THE LITTLE CARTOON BECAUSE ALTHOUGH IT IS CUTE AND KIND OF FUNNY, YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT"
I've been told that would be a little mean. Also, apparently it's too long, which is another thing about the blog posts...