me: (do not say but you are twins) But...you are twins!!
Them: (aghast look at me, aghast look at each other, aghast look at me) WHAT??? WE ARE???!!!
me: (totally walked into that one) Okay, well I'm just saying it's not very creative is all.
Them: (devious smiles)
Them: (darty eyes at each other...)
Them: Have you heard of "The Shining"?
Them: (nodding slowly. Even a little...diabolically?)
me: The before? With the pretty blue dresses and pink sashes and---
Them: THE AFTER. Blood everywhere. Gruesome guttyness. THE AFTER.
So last year I wrote all about how thrilling it was to be done with Halloween. (october-31st-2015.html) My girls were teens now and were so "over" that whole scene. I wasn't even going to write about it this year.
I was all set to write about the Pumpkin Spice Latte...aka hashtag PSL? My brand new best friend ever? It would have been a great post. I was planning to go on (like one does) (okay, like I do...) about how I'm not a pumpkin person. I'm not wild about all this trending business of putting it in pies, cheesecakes, bars, cookies...drinks? Ravioli?! It's like Cinderella's fairy God-mother's revenge...Let's turn everything into a pumpkin, bwahaha!!!
I was going to say (very dramatically...in its own little paragraph) ALAS... (is alas too much? You're right. I probably would have left out alas) How about this...and THEN!! Then I tried the infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Pffft, I don't know what's so great about this...I mused to the barista at Starbucks after I handed over several large bills. Then I took a sip, turned around - wide-eyed - and mouthed WOW to the people behind me. It was that good. As in - go buy pumpkin puree (a product you have literally never purchased in your life), google pumpkin-pie spice, buy it all and put it in everything - I hate to overuse the word dickenfrelicious, but that's what we are talking about here.
I realized that some people still wouldn't relate. It's pumpkin. I get you. This is why I'm not doing a whole entire post about it. (just try a PSL, okay? Best seventeen dollars you'll ever spend)
In last year's Halloween post, I mentioned how I had always made costumes for my daughters. While I still stand by how much even the word "crafty" bugs me and how it should only mean rubbing your hands together in evil glee, for some reason? I loved making Halloween costumes. Especially when it was all lady-bugs and bumble-bees and lambies and bunnies. Or a creative play on twinningness (robber and police-officer, doctor and sick patient, etc...)
When that gradual downward slide of Halloween (and society in general) went from "cute" to "Night of the Living Dead", I swore I wouldn't buy into it. I didn't want to support the dark side. I wanted no part in feeding that beast. I felt pretty self-righteous in my stance until last week - when the girls approached me with all this. Sooo...not Dr. Seuss's Thing 1 and Thing 2? (uh...no.) Not Raggedy Ann and Andy? (Raggedy who?) Not ketchup and musta--- (running away, hands over ears...)
Well, okay. As I tend to do with most things that my girls want (parenting game strong...) I decided not to make it a thing. If you make it a "thing"?, it becomes a thing. If I would, say, freak out? Go on about the evil generated by the Grady twins in The Shining? The nightmare they inflict? Their creepiness? All the other stuff that Google just told me about them which frightened me enough to completely forget my point here?
Um. Let's just all eat a fun-size Snickers and calm down. Please don't write and tell me all of the occultish, demonic, horrible terrible no good very bad things about it this whole idea. (just kidding, you can...comments are always welcome) (I'll pay you) (in Snickers).
Please don't tell me why there is so much blood around their necks. I don't want to know. Denial is not just a river in Egypt (it is the lifeblood running through my veins).
That's it. No more bloody talk.
Have a safe and happy Halloween! Think about pumpkins and candy and fun like a normal person while I offer you a throwback to a more innocent time (sigh...) that, hopefully, will erase the spooky twins born in the dark recesses of Stephen King's mind (possibly the scariest place in existence...)
Note: I regret to inform you that the year of Lady-bug/Bumble-bee and Princess Aurora/Snow White and maybe a few other years were only captured on home video for some reason, but I swear (on a full-sized Reese peanut-butter cup) that they happened.
I win. Email me the Reese thing and we'll call it even.