I said I would write about the Thanksgiving Family Dinner we had last weekend in a post this week. I was fully planning on doing so. The Blog Gods normally provide a nice disaster or two to write about, I mean...it's family, right? I had my mental notepads and mental Sharpies all ready that day. I even cleared my mental desk off...leaving the possibilities wide open. I shut my mental windows though. Not that wide. At my age, when thoughts start whirling around, they have a tendency to fly right out.
But wouldn't you know it? Everything about the dinner went off without a hitch. I know! It made me think that maybe there are no Blog Gods at all. Yeah, I said it. It felt almost...blasphemous? Maybe it is. Worst case they get mad and smite me with a topic for next week.
There was no catastrophe, food-wise. The turkey was juicy, flavourful, and there was plenty of it. Even though my nephew is a teenage boy! (for those of you unfamiliar, let's just say that he could probably lay waste to an entire loaf's worth of peanut butter sandwiches, just as an after-school snack) (it goes without saying that he is thin as a rail) (it goes without saying I want to be a teenage boy).
I could mention that there weren't enough green beans, but truthfully...we are not a family who cares about the abundance of green beans. Besides, there were enough Brussels sprouts to make up for this (to everyone's great relief). Nothing really mattered as long as there was dressing. Or "stuffing". Or, as we like to call it, the main dish. And there was 2 kinds! It was like Christmas. (actually nearly identical, except for thankfulness and no presents).
I could also mention that my sister did not watch the episode of Masterchef where there was a challenge to make the best mashed potatoes (copious amounts of butter and cream...) because she just basically cooked a bunch of potatoes in water, and then just kinda....smushed them up with the back of a spoon. I could mention there was no salt in the water they cooked in, but what would be the point. There was a salt-shaker?
I definitely can't complain about the salt-shaker. It was one of those fancy-pants ones where, at the bottom of it, there are tiny little pink rocks (of salt, I'm assuming...) and you have to twist and grind them into a tiny little reservoir. Then you remove the little reservoir, take a pinch of the precious grains and physically sprinkle them over your food. It is a process. Personally, I think my very health conscious sister was trying to lower our collective sodium levels by making it a "process", but...you know. It's okay? I mean, so we had to bend our elbows with something other than a fork all the live-long day. Plus, she went a little rogue and left in the gluten, so it was really not a big deal.
There were no bombs dropped. No one was pregnant, no one had up and left anyone else, no one had recently been arrested. Everyone's cholesterol and blood-pressure seemed to be within the normal range. No hurricanes had recently (or...ever?) torn a path of destruction through our city.
We didn't argue about politics. I mean not even American politics, obviously. Nothing to argue about Canadian-wise...we're doing okay up here. Our fearless leader knows exactly which email server to use and which microphone works and/or if it's "hot" and what to say/not say into it. Also, he does yoga. Let's see you guys do a handstand...Hillary? Donald? Ha. I think I've made my point. Canada wins.
We did talk for a long time about cars. It was weird. Again, I can't complain as it really was the most non hot-button topic (boring, inane) for families. I recommend it. People mused about how the Honda Pilot is kind of large and square. How the Hyundai Accent gets great gas mileage. Many, many, many more cars were mentioned and discussed on merits such as passenger seating, a smooth ride, cost and resale value. There would be a few seconds of merciful silence when I'd think we had finally wrung out the topic, and someone would nervously blurt - but the Saab! Now that's a car...and I'd go back to wanting to stab my eye with my fork.
I tried very hard to remember if I cared about any topic on earth less than cars, but when I consulted my mental notes, I fell asleep on my mental desk which doubles as a bed because, hey. It's my brain. I can set up the furniture however I want to.
Someone (finally) pointed out the TV - newly installed high above the fireplace. Can you have a TV over a fireplace? What about the heat? Isn't it a little high? Can you still see it? And at last...can we, uh, can we try it out? See what it's like? (turn the TV on!! turn it on turn it on turn it on...) (please no one say Kia Sportage...)
It's totally okay that it ended up looking exactly like pretty much anyone's house at 8pm...flaked out in front of the TV. We were together. We had stuff to eat. A good hang sesh. In the end, I decided that the thing I was most thankful for was the fact that, although there wasn't much notable excitement, I also had a lot of trouble coming up anything negative to say about our family dinner, so I wouldn't bother even blogging about it. Then I thought, hey. Why don't I blog about that.
(it wasn't really a question)
(you don't need to answer)
Thanksgiving 2016. Thankful and turkified. Moving on...