ANYWAY, as I was saying…the Blue Jays won! Many happy Canadians! They won 11 to 8 against the Kansas City Royals in the ACLS...and before you go thinking I am one of those female sports nuts, let me assure you, I am just a regular nut. I just periodically checked the live Twitter updates. When I went to bed, it was 2 zip for our boys (yes, I went to bed that early). The first thing I did in the morning was check to see who won. It took some doing (there was a lot of election nonsense) but yay! They did it. (side note: I had to google what series they are in and all I could find was ALCS. Pretend to be impressed. Just don’t ask me what it means)
Speaking of all this news, I don’t watch the news. I know what you’re thinking. But, but…what if our nation was under attack? What if the fine folks on Mars didn't want us misconstruing the little trickle we saw up there for an invitation to come for a visit and then they decide to take necessary precautions, Martian-Apocalypse style?
I figure if it’s really big news, I will hear about it. Most likely from my parents because they are news obsessed. News in the morning, world and local. A repeat at lunch and then again at 6 pm and then again at 11 pm. I've actually heard them complain “they always repeat the same stories”. I don’t want to be the killjoy and point out that it’s possible nothing new has happened in the span of about 3 hours? On the plus side, they are very well informed. They know everything from what ISIS is up to (and what ISIS stands for) (not to imply I don’t know, of course I know!) (I don’t know) to a local beer bash across town that got out of hand and authorities had to be called in. They are fully caught up. And they just can’t get over me.
Mom: Did you hear that North Korea might be about to test a nuke? According to a Seoul spy agency?
Me: Easy there, Double-oh-seven. Yes. I could barely sleep after I heard. North Korea is the bad Korea, right?
Mom: What!? You…what? You knew that North Korea was---oh you. Joke all you want, they probably have a lot of nukes.
Me: Please stop saying nukes. It’s weird hearing you say nukes.
Mom: Well, you at least watched the Election results, didn’t you?
Me: Well, I watched an old episode of America’s Got Talent, so um…yes. I watched Election results.
Mom: You need to stay informed about things!
Me: Why. Why do I? Will it make me a better person considering that it’s all bad news anyway? I mean, look. Now Justin Bieber is our Prime Minister.
Mom: I give up
Me: Do you? Because somehow I don’t think you do.
See...quick back story. A couple of years ago, I was eating my breakfast – a bagel slathered in cream cheese (because you wondered, didn't you) and doing my usual watching of local news while I ate. The news reporter was cheerfully relaying the news of the stabbing at a local bar. The events leading up to the stabbing, the life story of the stabber, the stabbee, the actual stabbing, the number and depth of each stab and many many more stab-related details. I looked down at my bagel. Then it happened. I lost my appetite. For a full 5 or 6 minutes. I kid you not. I wish I could convey the significance of me losing my appetite. I could only sit there, trying to empty my brain of stabby imagery.
It was then I decided that I would risk being uninformed about everything in order to eat bagels and not risk that horrifying 5 minutes of no appetite. To me, that is a perfectly logical trade-off. I don’t bother with any news at all. Unless I want to know a specific thing, which (obviously) is why God invented Google. Since then, I have been carrying on, blissfully unaware of nukes and Mars and local stabbings. My morning coffee is just my morning coffee, there is no mental connection to people strapping themselves with bombs and setting themselves off in crowded marketplaces.
Somehow, amazingly, I still manage to get through the days.
Go Jays! And best of luck to Justin. Now that he's turned his life around, maybe he'll do the same for Canada.