Irony is you asking me to explain irony.
What? I don't get it.
It's like me helping you with Math.
But you don't help me. You told me long division was when it lasts more than ten minutes.
It's like me showing you how to make blueberry muffins.
But they were terrible. You forgot the sugar. And they were purple. Purple rocks. Gross purple li---
Ohhh...(understanding spreading across face) Okay. It's like you teaching me about patience and life and how to drive and...
(Loud and unnecessary cough) Uh...yes. I think you get it.
Studies have shown that 80% of people struggle with understanding the definition of "irony" but won't admit it. Admittedly, the studies were all done by me and 80% is just a number I thought sounded reasonable, but the fact remains. Do you really know what it means?
Does anyone remember the Alannis Morrisette song, "Isn't it Ironic"? I won't be offended if you call it a "way back, play back" like the radio announcer did this morning. I won't even mention that I used to listen to her even further back when no one had heard of this new, offbeat (weird) Canadian singer who, at the time, only went by "Alannis". I have obvious deft skills at steering conversations away from any suggestions of age or aging or my obsession thereof. I'm sure this is the first you're even hearing about it. I'm just that good.
I will include the link (to the song) because of my mad tech skills and the fact that it will illustrate irony even further when the link doesn't work.
Honestly, this song messed me up. Why you ask? (aww, cute how you still ask...) It's because the lyrics are creative but they are technically not examples of irony. Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? Unless you are sitting in a cutlery manufacturing facility at the time, this would be, well, just unfortunate. Rain on your wedding day? Just kind of a bummer, really, and only "ironic" if you happen to be a meteorologist that swore there would be sunny skies all day. In other words...bad luck is all that Alannis is having in this song.
I read about an interview with her where they called her on her so-called ironic lyrics. Allegedly, she smiled. Demurely. (she smiled demurely like nobody's business...I'm not saying she had anger issues, I'm just saying if anyone - mostly men - were to observe her "smiling demurely" they would be wise to run away. Quickly) Her answer? Yes, the song was full of examples of irony that were not ironic because (are you sitting? you should sit for this...) because isn't THAT ironic? Irony, people. Boom.
There was a long, uncomfortable pause as we all struggled to grasp Alannis's genius. Personally, I struggled much longer than the interviewer. Him - seconds, me - years. Although I strongly suspect that he didn't get it either.
Now I'm feeling a little bad that I'm making you think about something as heavy as iron(y) on a Friday. It's making my head hurt a little too. So, I'll stop now and just show you a bunch of pictures that Google and Pinterest compiled for me that illustrate "irony" hilariously. While I didn't LMFAO or ROFL, I did actually LOL, which is rare for me. If you still don't "get" irony after this, it's okay. You might still make it in life, never knowing.
That's me rocking a little wisdom and encouragement on you. Isn't it ironic?