Basically it all means that when we turn on the TV, nothing happens. Here are the steps to follow to make TV happen if you are at my house.
1. Go to the computer and load up a website. Don't think about the logistics. The HDMI cord has special magic we mortals are not meant to understand.
2. Settle on the couch. Adjust lumbar pillow. Pull ottoman up to certain distance (relaxing is hard work, you must be willing to put in the time)
3. Observe that is it buffering. Return to computer located conveniently at the far far end of the extra extra long HDMI cord. Sigh heavily if you must.
4. Arrive just in time to see that it has stopped buffering. Resist urge to swear under breath. Return to couch. Repeat step 2.
5. Observe that you forgot to switch the sound from the stereo to the TV. Resist urge to swear audibly. Return to computer, adjust, repeat step 2.
6. Observe that you forgot to maximize the screen. Go ahead and yell anything you want at this point. Return to computer, adjust, repeat step 2.
7. Observe that the show you have picked to watch is called "The Awesomes" and it is anything but.
8. Head to bookshelf, pick out a good book and repeat step 2.
As you go through these steps, you might muse (or fume, depending on your patience level) as to how some type of remote control would be such a good idea and then realize it is, in fact, not 1972 and they do have remote controls expressly for this purpose. Consider using some of the boatloads of cash you are "saving" to purchase such a device. Maybe fume a bit that the person who's idea this whole thing was, did not already think of this. That this person is conveniently not even interested in TV. How convenient. (you can overuse convenient as long as you sneer it sarcastically every single time).
You should have watched The Grinder. I'm sort of abruptly switching topics here, but it's still in the vein of TV so it all makes sense. Because making sense is what I am all about.
So, has anyone seen The Grinder? Can we talk about Rob Lowe? If you ever think about aging as I do from time to time, (as in, from one minute to the next) Rob Lowe must be talked about. I'm sure he was in something when I was young that made me have a crush on him, I don't remember. But then I grew up. And he stayed the same. The Brat Pack grew up. He stayed the same. The Outsiders, the Sex-tape scandal, Wayne's World co-stars, they all got old. He stayed the same. Okay - even Fred Savage grew up! And yet...Rob Lowe stayed the same. What is going on with Rob LOWE already? I just googled him, he's 51. In The Grinder episode I watched, he was hitting on a girl that was 25 at the most and they looked pretty much the same age...until you thought about it for a minute.
FIFTY ONE. Don't get me started on John Stamos, who is the same age. I know celebrities have access to a special fountain of youth, but these guys are just drinking way too much of that stuff, don't you think? And oh. I just googled Natalie Morales (the girl Rob was hitting on in the show) and she's 30, not 25. Fine, so she's been dipping in the fountain too. Still.
So, I liked The Grinder mostly because of Fred Savage's facial expressions. He is just so cute (and you thought eye-candy Rob, didn't you?). We feel ya, Fred - you are a REAL lawyer, handsome Dan over there just PLAYED a lawyer on TV. You would think this would get old quickly, but it stays surprisingly funny even though almost every single joke is based on this one premise. I'm not sure how long that will last, as I've only seen the 2 episodes. Rob Lowe plays a character not unlike his "littra-lee" character on Parks and Rec, so that is a bonus. Someone who has absolutely no clue about himself, but really thinks he does. I wonder if he is like that in real life? If he knows he's travelling backwards in time? If so, I hope he can survive the mid-life crisis he will hit about 10 years ago.
I still have to watch "Grandfathered" before I can skewer it for you. It stars the aforementioned John Stamos looking just a hair (but not a grey one) younger than Uncle Jesse. I have a bad feeling...