Then I went for my wun. Ralk? Okay, it's my walk/run combo thing. I could just be cool - like my daughter is always pleading for me to be (please Mum. Be cool? Just be cool.) and say "run". But I'm compelled to be totally honest, hence the quotation marks. Oh! That reminds me of a post where I am totally honest about running - some-thoughts-about-why-i-run-even-if-nothing-is-chasing-me.html (see what I did there)
Anyway, I was somewhere between a walk and a run, when "it" hit me. I should just talk about 5 weird things I see on my "run"! There are just so many. And let's face it. It's summer, it's Saturday, you're tired. Best case scenario, you're only skimming this anyway.
Five Weird Things About My Walk Slash Run
1. I See Hens and Chicks
2. Operation Avoid Floyd.
Okay, he's a perfectly nice, older gentleman. "Friendly smile" resting face. Knee-high white socks and running shoes. Always walking a spastic little dog and having to stop and wait for said dog to do spastic little things (pee in the hens and chicks). He's kind of a quiet person - borderline awkward - just like me (although I cross that line often. Like, whenever I encounter people like him. Or...people) There is much awkward standing and smiling. There is much wishing for a car to crash into a nearby garage door. Or for someone to burst out of a house in underwear and a top hat, wielding a spatula and raging about the government...anything for a conversation piece.
After the obligatory hi (I have to stop walk/running), we are both kind of stumped. He mentions that his dog is getting old. Slowing down. I nod politely. We look at the spastic dog. She looks at us. He wishes, she says, subliminally. Please keep talking, we both plead to her, also subliminally. Then (I swear she smiles) she lies down on the road and settles in. Oh I am loving this... (subliminally). Needless to say, I structure the timing of my runs to avoid Floyd.
3. Expensive shoes
I have previously referenced my million year old Nikes. So old, they are from when we said "Nike" rhyming with Spike, rather than the current (please be cool, Mum) "Nike-ee" rhyming with spiky. I finally bought new ones. They have all the bells and whistles. Not literally, but how fun would that be, right? I could be my own little marching band as I wun/ralk. Here's the thing, though. They were apparently specially tailored for running. They have advanced orthotic (?) technology. It's possible they can run without me in them, although I've never tested the theory. YET. They aren't comfortable! I miss my clunky, full of holes, pimped-out with insoles, age old Nike-EEEZ. But my doctor said that it's bad for my knees to not wear good shoes. I'm at the age where I cover my ears when people say stuff about bad knees. I don't want to talk about knees for another ten years at least. If ever.
4. People in pajamas
I will admit this is referring to yesterday's run and not today's...because yesterday was garbage day. That special day when people are hauling out the pails they forgot to put out the previous night. I am forced to wave hi a lot, an exchange that both me and person I'm waving at did not expect or, as you will see, prepare for. In any way.
So, okay. Does the fashion industry have any idea what people are wearing to bed? Way too many adults are into minions. Minions!!! Adults?!! Not just minions either. Disney is making a killing on nightwear, apparently. Oh, and plaid. Yes, plaid in the summer. Yes, plaid paired with minions. It's obvious people just say, oh, who cares if it matches (because it really really doesn't). I finally saw, with relief, a man come out in a suit. There you go! Finally some decency---wait, oh. It's a T-shirt...with, I kid you not, a picture of a suit and tie stamped on it. So.
I may now structure my runs to avoid garbage day also. Stuff you can't unsee. And lastly...
I feel ya, Mr. Bear.
(positive take-away: Mr. Bear juuuust fits in my washing-machine)
Hope you're all having a nice summer...enjoy the succulents!