Then Wednesday happened and I got to the top of humpday and felt bad. I mean, Kelly Ripa didn’t get the rug pulled out from under her and then kick up some impressive dust just so I could sit idly by. I’ve never been good at sitting idly by, I’m not sure what the rules are…can I watch TV during idle time or is it strictly just sitting?
Then there is the Beyonce thing. She didn’t just drop a “visual album” for nothing. I would be remiss if I didn’t speak (for the people) and say (whispering, so as not to appear uncool) we don’t know what a visual album is, but we admire your originality as always. Also…(treading very carefully here) um, Bey? We think your own hair is pretty good? Fantastic, really. We’re not sure why Rachel Ray is involved? Is it that burger recipe of hers? Maybe that’s what the Lemonade thing is about – it goes well with burgers? Oh wait…Rachel Roy, not Rachel Ray. I see. Soo…this Rachel Roy. Does she make burgers too?
If you have no clue what I'm talking about, you are only confirming my original intention…that I don’t really talk about celebrity gossip that much because I’d like to convey that this is not that kind of a blog. I’m not Perez Hilton. I spent way too many years thinking Perez Hilton was actually Paris Hilton trying to be all hip with a trick spelling of her name, instead of the other way around. Finding out Perez Hilton's real name is Mario, left me with my mouth agape. I closed it eventually when I realized that I didn't care on "agape" level.
My blog topics err on the more personal side of nonsense as opposed to what’s trending.
Otherwise I’d have to talk all about Donald and Hilary’s huge leaps in the polls…I can’t really do that. I’m not American and I refuse to get any more political than the hair issue. Trump’s is spectacular, as I have repeatedly mentioned. I mean, right? It should run for president all by itself. And I think we can all agree how Hillary’s hair has come a long way from how it used to be. She can no longer fly away from uncomfortable meetings on those blond wings. I mean, has The White House ever seen such caliber hair as these two? (answer: no) It would give America hope once again – think of all the jobs it will create for hair-stylists? People will walk in asking for “The Donald” or “The Hillary”. And what about the sudden business boom for American made hair-care products (Nice and Easy numbers 104 and 98, respectively)? There isn’t a single candidate, past or present president who have rocked such glorious heads of hair. I also mentioned it because I thought it tied in nicely with Beyonce’s hair issues.
Kelly Ripa has great hair too, in my opinion. Highly underrated. Why are we talking more about her hair? It’s so pretty and falls into her face in an appealing way, right? I do understand the situation, don’t get me wrong. No one told her that her co-host was about to bail or that her show was in jeopardy. I’d be mad too. But she handled it all like that pro that she is. I’ve always been a Kelly fan. Like I said, not totally sure how it works with American politics, but is it too late for her to join the presidential race? She's so fit, she'd do great in a race. I’d be Team Kelly all the way.
Prince died? It made me sad. I knew I had to throw my comments out there – to be caught by no one in particular. To be then handed to the next person with a shrug and then a “What do I do with this?” To be answered with “Dunno…” by original person (this is how it happens in my mind, at least).
It made me almost forget about current events and hair because what is it with these musical icons dying? Would they please just stop it?
Prince single-handedly brought a virtually ignored colour like purple into the foreground. Purple! That is not easily done. He danced in platform heels. He had wild sideburns! Aaand…there it is. We’re back to hair. I mourn the loss of Prince’s cool hair (in keeping with some semblance of a theme here)…he had great hair. Those curls! And would you call that a pompadour? Can we? I almost never get to say pompadour.
I should probably mention his contribution to music, as it is legendary, obviously. My cousin, a blues aficionado, has dedicated several facebook posts to the intricacies of Prince’s talent, things I am in awe of despite not really understanding. I do know that he sang falsetto like a boss…with the unfortunate downside that I could never sing along because it was weirdly way too high. I did love the imagery of little red Corvettes and raspberry berets. I hope that we can all just stop worrying about how or why he died and honour his legacy.
I know that this is not possible in this gossip hungry world. To be honest, I sometimes have kind of an appetite for it too, my appetite is not just all cookies (still cookies too, though) (obviously). I’m not part of the solution, I’m still part of the problem. Maybe with all of the terrible news there is out there, it’s natural to want to just read about something else…something light and fun.
Something like how very recently, they discovered a new species of monkey. It's called the "Kipunji monkey". It’s really cute and terribly shy, which is why it wasn’t discovered until now (it shied away from approaching Scientists and Biologists...magnifying glasses freaked them out).
So, I hate to bring this up again, but…