This wasn't supposed to be a regular post, but as you can see by the riveting subject matter, I couldn't not tell you. Normally, with posting, I don't really want to commit to more than one every 3 or 4 days, due to a prior commitment to other things. Other things is a big job. I need to log a certain amount of hours at it per week, or there will be repercussions. Between other things and some rigidly scheduled sloth-like behaviour, I have very little time left over. Posting day was supposed to be tomorrow. Here I've gone and upset the sacred balance again.
But I know why I'm orange!
For years I have been orange (ish) (Caucasian, but orange). It’s really isn’t very noticeable unless I stand beside my daughters. I always thought it was because they have gorgeous porcelain-like white skin. I thought my orangey, fake-tannish looking complexion was just a lingering result of eighties skin damage. The people who all baked in the sun or on tanning beds in the eighties when it was all the rage to be as brown as possible while still being Caucasian? They would all protest right now if they weren’t so busy feverishly applying moisturizer to their prematurely aging skin.
So, get this. I just read that people who eat an excessive amount of carrots turn orange. Like actuallyTURN orange. (it's called carotenemia and it's from the carotene in carrots...I recommend you Google it as I am too lazy to give more details than that)
Since Halloween, I have stepped it up a bit, but I always eat mass quantities of baby carrots instead of junk food. Like, on purpose. Reluctantly. I want a mini-Caramilk? (yes…always yes) I have a baby carrot. Unsatisfying? Oh, totally. But it does the trick somehow. My cookie fixation? Baby carrots help me to not eat a cookie every 3 - 5 minutes.
Healthy, right? A good diet aid? Yes! A downside? Well. Apparently you turn orange.
I’ve used this method successfully for years to stave off sugar binges, only to discover today…that it is why I am orange. Wow, you must have to eat a lot of carrots to turn orange, you are thinking. Yes. And thank you for making it sound like a weird eating disorder. Why do I tell you things.
Anyway, here is the question. Should I be fat? Or orange? I gotta say, it’s tough call…
Come back soon. I'll have the answer to this thought-provoking question.
Well. Probably not the answer to this question. Maybe just one of my regular thought-provoking posts...and I don't need to know what kind of thoughts my posts provoke. Some things are better left unsaid. Come to think of it, probably a philosophy I should embrace more often.
I don’t think the fat vs. orange question can really be answered anyway. It’s one of those, where does the sky end? type of questions. It's metaphysical. In the unlikely event of an actual scientist and/or astronomer reading this, I realize the sky probably does end at a certain point...I’m aware of the whole “outer space” thing. But sometimes I don't feel like fact-checking and exhausting all logic and possible reasoning to my statements. Oh, like you usually do? ...you're thinking. Wow. Nice. I see you are in a “mood” today.
How about it's six of one and a half-dozen of the other. Fat or orange? Think about it.