Why are you taking so long?!
Oh I get it - believe me. And brace yourself, Justin Bieber is eyeing a big come-back. The answer, though...what is worse is a One Direction song in general, is one that keeps running through your head, over and over. And over. Again. And again. Every few seconds you find yourself humming it or singing a few lines out loud, much to the dismay of your teenage daughters who are no longer "tweens" therefore are not exactly in the One Direction fan club. You waste precious think time wondering - why does her flipping her hair get him overwhelmed? Why does she not know she's beautiful? I could give several thousand more examples of cheesy lyrics, but then I'm running the risk of it being in my head. Well, there it is...too late. You Don't Know You're Beautiful. And that's how it works with me.
I suffer badly from earworms. Which is what my brother informed me this "song stuck in your head" thing is called. Personally, I would rather call it "song stuck in my head", because "earworm" conjures up gross images of worms taking over all the little spaces up there where One Direction isn't. When I googled it, I read that earworms prey upon the tired, the idle and the stressed. Thankfully, they were kind enough not to mention my name directly. The article also mentioned that people who have a tendency to be obsessed about things are also the most at risk. I mused over this as I closed the 37 browsers I had open on the topic.
My daughters suffer from this same affliction even though they are mostly easy-going, relaxed and happy, so it could be a genetic thing too. It's a problem, but It's also handy as a mode of discipline/weapon if you know how to use it.
Me: Put your dishes into the dishwasher, guys
Them: Moooom. We're in the middle of--
Me: (breaking into song) (think Carly Rae Jepson) It's hard to look right
Them: You wouldn't...
Me: at you baaaby
Them: Wait! Wait...just let us finish this--
Me: but here's my number
Them: (all of us in unison - them groaning) So call me maybe
Me: Ha! Gotcha. Wait. Why aren't you doing the dishes?
Them: (shaking their heads, sadly) What's the point now?
Me: do it or it's Katy Perry.
Them: (rushing over to complete task)
If I really meet up with resistance on the chores, I always have the option of getting out the big guns and threatening to aim Taylor Swift at them. It's not that I even mind her songs that much. It's just...why do they all have to be so catchy? Like, every single one?
Don't get me started on Ed Sheeran. Lately, I've been tempted to call in and let the radio stations know that there's probably one or two other artists out there making music besides Ed. Every day seems to be an "Ed Sheeran's Greatest Hits" day. He's in my head all the time. He's also in the pocket of my ripped jeans...he's also in the necklace I got when I was sixteen...it's all Ed, all the time. Aaaand there it is. The earworm just wiggled in and will stay there for the forseeable future. I should be grateful. It ate the One Direction worm.
The best solution is to just listen to whatever song is torturing you - right until the end. Then play about 8 - 10 songs that you love, in rapid succession. This usually kills the earworm but it is not a guarantee. A lobotomy is another option, but I'll warn you, it's kind of a drastic approach (you may find the medical profession is hesitant to oblige)
Since writing this blog, it occurred to me that I have really immature taste in music, so I forced myself to listen some modern, sophisticated music (I literally googled modern, sophisticated music because I have absolutely no frame of reference on the topic) The songs were beautiful. Some were dark, mysterious and lovely. Some were what I imagine is on Spotify in heaven (surely they get Spotify in heaven?). Afterwards, I felt kind of cleansed...but then I was done. No more music, it was bedtime and I was going to get a good sleep. There was a nice blank space in my head. Wait. Did I just--? Oh. No....
I'm sorry. I feel it's better when we all suffer together, don't you?
Update: due to technical difficulties (all mine), you can only see this video if you click "Watch on Youtube" like the demanding little message says. Here is your chance to get out. Or Taylor's chance to get in. The choice is yours...choose wisely
Update on the update: Some people have reported a pop-up blocking them from linking to Youtube. If this happens, you could just look it up on Youtube yourself, but I think you probably should pause and ask yourself if the universe is trying to tell you something...